The ABCs of Avoiding a Custody Battle

7 Mistakes To Avoid In Divorce Mediation

by Barry Webb

Divorce mediation can be an effective means of settling conflicts. However, mistakes can put negotiations in peril and result in the court deciding matters for both sides. If you and your spouse are headed to mediation, here are some mistakes to avoid.

  1. Trading insults. Regardless of how you and your spouse feel about each other, it is important to avoid calling each other names. Name calling can leave bitterness on both sides and make it more difficult to reach a settlement.
  2. Refusing to negotiate. The success of mediation is rooted in whether or not both spouses are willing to work together to settle issues. If you are unwilling to compromise on some matters, it is unlikely your spouse will be willing to either.
  3. Failing to fairly assess proposals. During negotiations, you and your spouse will have the opportunity to put forth proposals on how to settle matters. Instead of automatically vetoing any proposals that do not give you everything you wanted, take the time to fairly assess them.
  4. Involving family and friends. It can be challenging, but while you and your spouse are negotiating your divorce, try to keep them out of it. The opinions of family and friends can sometimes muddy the waters and make it difficult to make your own decision.
  5. Becoming emotional over assets. An emotional attachment to a material possession can lead to an argument between you and your spouse that could permanently derail negotiations. Work with the mediator and your spouse to find solutions for settling difficult decisions over certain assets.
  6. Jumping to conclusions. Although you have spent time with your spouse, it is important that you do not try to "read" his or her thoughts. When you make assumptions about his or her motives in the mediation, it can make reaching a settlement impossible. If you want to know your spouse's motives, ask him or her directly.
  7. Hiding assets. If you hide assets from your spouse and he or she discovers them, negotiations will most likely cease. At that point, your spouse might feel that you are attempting to deceive him or her. Be upfront and work with your spouse to fairly split assets.

Prior to divorce mediation, consider meeting with the mediator to learn other ways you can work to keep the negotiations on track. Remember, the more issues you and your spouse are able to settle on your own, the less interference from the court you can expect. Contact a company like Divorce Mediation Institute of Utah for more info.

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