The ABCs of Avoiding a Custody Battle

3 Things To Know About Long-Distance Parental Visitation

by Barry Webb

If you are going to live a some distance away from your children after the divorce, you may wonder how you can still maintain a relationship with them. Here are three things you should know.

1. You may need your ex to agree to any long-distance visits.

If you live out of state or out of the country, many courts may be reluctant to approve visitation that doesn't fall under their jurisdiction. You will probably have to get your ex to agree to allow you to take them across state lines, or across international boundaries, and you will want to get a court order stipulating your plans. You will need this document to fly, cross borders, or to show when talking to other types of government officials.

Otherwise, you will have to make regular plans to visit in the area where your kids are living and to find somewhere to stay during this time.

2. Virtual visitation can be a useful tool.

Modern technology gives you and your children many inexpensive ways to keep in touch. Virtual visitation is primarily visiting by webcam and can be done on set days and times. However, some parents also opt to give older children cell phones or tablets so that they can call or text them more frequently.

You can also be kept abreast of coming events by using an online calendar with your ex, and your ex may be amenable to recording videos of these events to send to you.

3. You need to iron out the small details before your agreement is final.

Finally, you will want to get legal advice, and think out the details of visitation beforehand to avoid later problems and disappointments.

Some issues that will be sure to come up are the times, dates, places, methods, and costs of various types of visitation and communication. For example:

  • Who is going to foot the internet and/or cell phone service and devices? 
  • How are holidays and vacations going to be handled?
  • How are you going to handle situations where the kids want to use their devices to complain to you about the other parent and their rules/habits?
  • If the children are going to travel to see you on a regular basis, what mode of transportation will be used, who will pay for it, and who is going to accompany them (if they are still very young)?

These are just a few of the issues that could come up; your attorney will have some ideas about certain items as well. All the agreements you and your ex make on these issues should be detailed in the divorce or marital separation agreement. For more advice, contact a professional like Kenneth J. Molnar Attorney.

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